Not Even Kinda Authentic Sweet & Sour

I don't know where this recipe came from.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I know where I got it from -- my mom. I have no idea where she came up with it. What I do know, is that this recipe is friggin delicious. It was always my favorite as a child. I've classed it up a little bit to be "grown up food", but at its heart it's a really, really simple way to feed yourself chicken. Aside from making the rice (which you can fudge with microwaved, leftover, rice maker, or boil in bag rice) this is a one pot meal, which makes it super convenient for busy people, lazy people and people with kids!

It's almost impossible to screw this up so have fun!

First, our cast of characters:


The basics

• Rice
• White vinegar
• Brown sugar
• 1 can of chunked pineapple in juice
  
• Chicken (pork will also work)
• Salt (not shown because I'm an idiot)
• Oil/cooking spray (also not shown)

The optionals (which I sorta forgot to buy and as a result will not be shown)

• Any vegetable you'd put in a stir-fry. Carrots, those little tiny corn cob things, and water chestnuts are all really good in this.
• Red pepper flakes
• Bottled pineapple juice
  

Author's note: I cooked this at my boyfriend's house so please forgive the um...pans and backsplash.

Anyway, first thing you're going to do is spray your cooking spray into the bottom of the pan OR add a little oil and swirl it around. You want the whole thing coated but not sopping. We're not frying the chicken today!

Set your burner to high heat. You should have something that looks a little like this:


This is the absolute maximum of cooking you want to get here. Anymore than that and your chicken won't absorb delicious pineapple flavors!

Speaking of delicious pineapple flavors, crack open your can and strain the juice straight into the pan. You could use your optional bottled pineapple juice here and you'd add about a cup of juice.



Yeah, that looks a lot more like what we want. Anyway, you're going to cook it like this until your chicken is done. Now, you could pop out a meat thermometer here but honestly, it's chunks of chicken. When you don't see any pink anymore, use two forks to pull a piece apart. If it's white all the way through, it's done. Do that to a couple of the bigger pieces and if they all come up white, you're done!

Once you've cooked the chicken all the way through, reduce the heat to medium. Now, dump in all the pineapple from your can.


Here's where things get a little subjective. Add about a third of a cup of white vinegar, stir everything, pop out a spoon and taste the liquid. You're going to be doing a lot of tasting here, so um, get ready to do some washing. Or if you're doing like me and just cooking for yourself and your boyfriend, just don't even bother. I used a dirty spoon. I won't lie.

Now, your next step is to decide how the broth tastes to you. There aren't EXACT measurements for this. You're going to make everything "to taste." If it's too sour (you'll probably think it is), add about a fourth of a cup of the brown sugar. Once you get really good at this, you can pretty much avoid using the brown sugar at all which makes it into a really healthy meal.



Stir the brown sugar into the liquid until it's dissolved completely, then taste again. Add a little vinegar if it's too sweet and keep doing that until it's your perfect idea of a taste sensation. You can also add some exra pineapple juice if you were smart enough to have a bottle of it floating around.

At this point, you add your optional things. Any veggies you were planning on adding you can just toss right in (chop them down to bite size pieces if they're not already). You can also add a little bit of red pepper flakes and add salt to taste. Again, taste it if you're not sure! This is the stage where you can make changes if you need them!

Let it boil uncovered until the sauce is reduced by about half. Actually, you want it to look pretty much like this:



At this point, split your rice into 2-4 bowls and ladle the chicken, veggies, and sauce right on top of the rice. Serve hot.



BUT WAIT! What about the rice? Well, confession time: I don't like making rice. I make my boyfriend do it or I'll use boil in bag. It's really easy to screw it up in a lot of different ways. You can use a rice cooker or boil in bag or make it the "right" way, or order from the Chinese restaurant down the street. We'll address rice at a later date.

Anyway, this serves up to 6 depending on how many veggies you throw into the pan.

How to Fake Cooking Tip #1

I thought this would be a fun idea for an ongoing feature, basically it's going to be tips for "home cooking" for people who lack time and skills.

Feast your ideas on this delicious looking lamb roast and veggies:



Wow! That certainly looks delicious, right? Must have taken me hours!! Well, actually the roast itself I got from the supermarket. It comes pre-seasoned and prepped. It originally came in a foil pan with cooking directions.

Things I did:

1. Peeled and chopped two large carrots
2. Chopped 4 small potatoes (you don't have to peel these, it makes them RUSTIC!)
3. Drizzled those in olive oil, salt, pepper, and an herb mix and tossed.
4. Popped the lamb out of the disposable foil pan and into the bigger one.
5. Put the veggies into the big pan
6. Cooked following the directions on the roast pan (180ºC/350ºF for 1 hour per kg/2.2 lbs)

That's it. My entire prep time took about 10 minutes and I was back to watching TV and playing MMORPGs!

If you had a nice ceramic pan to cook in, this could go straight from the oven to the table. Serve some with some warm bread and maybe some asparagus and you have a super quick meal you can use to fake your way through being a great cook for your boss or in-laws! Also doubles as a quick way to feed your children something relatively wholesome without spending all day prepping a damn piece of lamb.

Blasphemy

Of the five words that come to mind when I'm trying to sum up Texas, BBQ is the first. Texas is famous for it. It's unfortunate that I live 400 miles away from home because this July 4th, I DIDN'T GET ANY. That's right. Blasphemy. 


For the first time in a long time, I missed my redneck family (totes superficial, but oh well). As I wallowed in my misery, not able to see the fireworks in the distance because of the stupid trees in the back of my apartment complex and depressed because we aren't allowed to have a grill on our patio, I started looking for a recipe for oven barbecue chicken. Basically, more blasphemy.


I hopped on the Google* and searched. I clicked the first appealing link and began drooling and pathetically pining for what I saw. The Hungry Mouse is where credit is due for this recipe. I changed it up a tiny bit, because of the picky eater I live with and the ingredients I had on hand. Picky eaters hate cilantro, trust me.


First things first, gather your ingredients.

The recipe called for kosher salt, but I only had sea salt on hand. No big deal to swap, as kosher salt is kind of like larger grained table salt. You'll also need barbecue sauce of your choosing. I'm going to tell you one of my weaknesses - products with hilarious packaging or names that make me giggle. (Seriously, next time you're at Wal-Mart, go to the cereal aisle and look for Cocoa Cool, the store brand of Cocoa Puffs. I defy you not to laugh at it.) Sweet Baby Ray's fit the bill. It's also my new favorite barbecue sauce...because it's the boss (it says so right on the bottle). It's actually really freaking good. Tip: do NOT under any circumstance tell your picky eater if you chose spicy sauce. Unless it may potentially trigger an allergy and kill them. Maybe. Your call. You will also need spray canola oil, and obviously, chicken. 

Tip: Make sure that you marry somebody who can tell the difference between skinned and skinless chicken. Otherwise, you'll have to do what I did and try and describe it by text message. This is more challenging than it seems. He wound up getting chicken thighs, which came out great. The fattier the cut is, the more forgiving it will be in the oven.


Next, line a baking sheet with foil and place a cooling rack on top.

Preheat your oven to 375° F (191° C). 

Rinse the chicken, pat dry, and sprinkle with salt. You can see the salt i.e. the glittery looking bits on the back piece. 

Okay, for the most difficult part (which is actually pretty simple because you'll be able to learn from my mistakes), we're going to sear the chicken. This will make the skin crispy as though it came from your prohibited balcony grill. Put a nonstick pan on the stove, right in between medium and high heat and coat it with some spray canola oil. This is where I learned what not to do for you. I had the heat on high at first, and while snapping pictures, our apartment filled with smoke. My fiance asked if he was going to die. Seriously. Also, be careful because the fat dripping from the chicken may splatter. It will probably purposely aim for your eyes. Picky eater/fiance left his button down shirt on the kitchen floor, so I put it on backwards to protect my arms. He shouldn't have left it there.

Place the chicken, skin side down, into the pan. Be sure not to overcrowd them. 

Let them cook for a few minutes, until the skin is a pretty golden brown color with a few blackened bits (which I was too impatient to wait for). The smoke from the oil will help give it an authentic barbecue flavor. If I could make this again, I would have let my chicken sear a little longer, but they still tasted great. Remove the chicken from the pan and place on some paper towels to drain.

I bought a basting brush specifically for this step. It made me feel awesome. Like an official food blogger. Your next step will be to coat both sides of the chicken with barbecue sauce and place them onto the cooling rack. 

When you're done, they should look similar to this:

Put them in the oven for 15 minutes. I'm going to admit that I bought this timer because it was freaking adorable and probably in the dollar section at Michael's. I'm also going to admit that this is the first time I've used it. (I've had it for almost two years).

After the 15 minutes are up, take the chicken from the oven. The sauce should have thickened a bit. Mine looked like this:

Add another coat of barbecue sauce with your fancy brush (or you can finger paint, whatevs). 

Mine looked like this:

Put the chicken back in the oven for 30-35 minutes, until a thermometer inserted in the thickest part (but not touching the bone) reads 165° F (74° C). I'm pretty sure that's the third time I've used my meat thermometer. Once was to take my temperature because I couldn't find a regular one. Beware, the tip is sharp.


While you wait you have an excellent opportunity to clean up the mess you made in the kitchen. Or instant message with Liz. Or drink a Red Bull. Or try to get your angry kitty/bff to like you again even though you just took him to the vet and fail miserably.

Wait a tiny bit for it to cool off, and put it on your favorite plate.

Enjoy. Preferably with a Dr. Dynamite like I did, because the name is funny. Or because your fiance is cheap. Either way.


Give a piece of the fat to your cat, as a peace offering. (This was basically the second bite of food he ate since he got home, I was so happy!)


Lastly, forgive me for using my tablet to take pictures because my digital camera battery was dead.


Take it easy,
♥Jennifer










Oven Baked Blasphemous BBQ Chicken

-Skinned chicken (approximately two pounds/almost a kilogram)
-Coarsely grained salt
-Spray canola oil
-Approximately one cup (8 fl oz.) of barbecue sauce (more or less depending on desired amount and size of chicken)

Serves 2

Preheat oven to 375°F (191°C)

Cover baking sheet with foil and place cooling rack on top.

Rinse chicken and pat dry.

Sprinkle with salt.

Put a nonstick pan on medium-high heat.

Spray with canola oil.

Sear chicken by placing it skin side down in the pan.

Let chicken cook for a few minutes until golden brown with a few blackened spots.

Remove from pan, and drain on paper towel.

Coat each side of the chicken with barbecue sauce, using a basting brush.

Place in oven for 15 minutes.

Remove and add another coat of barbecue sauce to each side of the chicken.

Put back in oven for 30-45 minutes until a thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the chicken (without touching the bone) reads 165° F (74°C).

Let cool for a bit and enjoy!

*Big Bang Theory reference, couldn't help myself.

Intro (Meet your easy cooks!)

Did anyone ever teach you to cook?

If you're like more and more people in their 20s and 30s, the answer is a resounding "no". Your parents probably both worked and likely didn't have the time or the energy to teach you, if they even knew how to do it themselves. More and more schools aren't offering home economics or cooking classes due to budget cuts and an increased focus on academics.

We live in a world of convenience and it's really easy to not cook if you don't know how. You can get pretty far in life not knowing, but if you want to learn where do you go? Cooking classes can cost a lot of money and blogs and television shows tend to cater to a slightly more advanced crowd. You can't build a house without a foundation and you'll never be a great cook if you don't know how to mash potatoes. The purpose of this blog is to provide an easy and informative way to improve your cooking skills without anyone assuming you know how to cook a whole chicken.

Meet the Food Skanks!

Liz -- A 25 year old full time student and occasional office slave, Liz learned to cook through a lot of trial and error. She now splits her time between Texas and Australia, where she stays with her sexily accented fiance. Her food passion is anything that can be made with liquor and once got drunk off of a wine based stew. On the weekends, she fights crime.

Jennifer -- A 22 year old full time student and the next Martha Stewart, Jennifer learned to cook through blogs and elementary cookbooks. (The only things she learned to cook in Skills for Living class was Rice Krispies treats, pizza, and Koolaid). She currently lives in Texas with her picky eater fiance and her best friend, her cat Newton. (No offense, Liz). Her favorite dishes tend to be Italian food or simple, rustic foods with few ingredients. Her side gigs include being a professional bad ass and a crime-fighting sidekick.